| I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. | Woody Allen |
| Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence. | anonymous |
| A pessimist is a man who is never happy unless he is miserable; even then he is not pleased. | anonymous |
| A pessimist is just a well-informed optimist. | anonymous |
| I do not mind what language an opera is sung in as long as it is in a language I don't understand. | Sir Edward Appleton |
| As far as I am concerned there are only two kinds of people in the world. Those who are nice to their servants and those who aren't. | Duke of Argyll |
| [To Winston Churchill]: Winston, if I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee. CHURCHILL: Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it. |
Nancy Astor |
| Democracy means government by discussion but it's only effective if you can stop people talking. | Clement Attlee |
| Few women cared to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money. | Alan Ayckbourn |
| Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time. | Tallulah Bankhead |
| In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture. | Nancy Banks-Smith |
| They are the most embarrassed people in the world, the English. You cannot look each other in the face - Is there anyone not embarrassed in England? The Queen perhaps. She is not embarrassed. With the rest it's 'I won't make you feel bad as long as you don't make me feel bad'. That is the social contract. Society is making each other feel better. | Alan Bennett |
| I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking. But I strongly object when they start shaking them to make sure they are still going. | Lord Birkett |
| The English are polite by telling lies. The Americans are polite by telling the truth. | Malcolm Bradbury |
| Intellectuals are people who believe that ideas are more important than values. That is to say, their own ideas and other people's values. | Gerald Brenan |
| Taking it all in all, I do not believe anybody on earth has a worse time than an Emperor penguin. | Apsley Cherry-Garrard |
| It's not so much the world that's got so much worse but news coverage that's got so much better. | G K Chesterton |
| Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear. | Alan Coren |
| Whenever you accept our views we shall be in full agreement with you. | Moshe Dayan |
| When you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. | Sir Arthur Conan Doyle |
| Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. | Albert Einstein |
| There is one thing about being President - nobody can tell you when to sit down. | President Eisenhower |
| Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. | Susan Ertz |
| All forms of exploitation are identical because all of them are applied against the same 'object': man. | Frantz Fanon |
| There are too many men in politics and not enough elsewhere. | Hermione Gingold |
| A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. | graffiti |
| In an autocracy, one person has his way; in an aristocracy, a few people have their way; in a democracy, no one has his way. | Celia Green |
| The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there. | L P Hartley |
| He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody. | Joseph Heller |
| There is precious little in civilization to appeal to a Yeti. | Sir Edmund Hillary |
| How many people speak the same language even when they speak the same language? | Russell Hoban |
| Little minds are interested in the extraordinary; great minds in the commonplace. | Elbert Hubbard |
| Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead. | Aldous Huxley |
| A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by a common hatred of its neighbours. | W R Inge |
| You can only predict things after they've happened. | Eugene Ionesco |
| Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there's no river. | Nikita Kruschev |
| The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations like prostitutes. | Stanley Kubrick |
| We do not regard Englishmen as foreigners. We look on them only as rather mad Norwegians. | Halvard Lange |
| Clever men are usually such unpleasant animals. | D H Lawrence |
| Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself. | Sybil Marshall |
| [When caught by his wife , kissing a chorus girl] I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering in her mouth. | Chico Marx |
| I never forget a face, but I'll make an exception in your case. | Groucho Marx |
| Specialist - a man who knows more and more about less and less. | William J Mayo |
| Continental people have sex life; the English have hot-water bottles. | George Mikes |
| Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. | Spike Milligan |
| Freud is all nonsense; the secret of neurosis is to be found in the family battle of wills to see who can refuse the longest to help with the dishes. | Julian Mitchell |
| I have only read one book in my life, and that is White Fang. It's so frightfully good that I've never bothered to read anything else. | Nancy Mitford |
| My only hobby is laziness, which naturally rules out all the others. | Granni Nazzano |
| The higher the voice the smaller the intellect. | Ernest Newman |
| Join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people and kill them. | pacifist slogan, 1970s |
| The most precious things in speech are the pauses. | Ralph Richardson |
| Human beings were invented by water as a device for transporting itself from one place to another. | Tom Robbins |
| Mount Everest is very easy to climb, only a little too high. | André Roche |
| Remember, no one can make you feel inferior wihout your consent. | Eleanor Roosevelt |
| To be and not to be, that is the answer. | Michael Rubinstein |
| The stars are in one's brain. | Bertrand Russell |
| Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come. | Carl Sandburg |
| I too had thoughts once of being an intellectual, but I found it too difficult. | Albert Schweitzer |
| For every person wishing to teach there are thirty not wishing to be taught. | W C Sellar |
| There must be more to life than having everything! | Maurice Sendak |
| Adults are obsolete chidren. | Dr Seuss |
| Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. | A Szent-Gyorgyi |
| I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first. | Peter Ustinov |
| An artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he - for some reason - thinks it would be a good idea to give them. | Andy Warhol |
| To do is to be - Rousseau To be is to do - Sartre Doobedoobedoobedoo - Sinatra |
Graffiti |